plagued by you

Damn you, damn you! I hate you for doing this to me. Now I can’t think straight. What bad joke of fate is it that I should be subjected to this before what is supposed to be most important to me right now. I cannot take it, it’s driving me to insanity, a sanctum I’d readily avoid on sight or even mention of, but you’re driving me straight into it; like a roller coaster ride where I’m sitting right in front – where the fear strikes first and foremost. I don’t want this, I don’t need this, but you don’t realize it and you slowly drain me with it.

What have you done? I have no idea. It just strikes like lightning, before anyone realizes what’s happened, it’s already happened. I could only wish it had never happened.

See, there I go again – don’t I know it that I’m not supposed to, that it’s not supposed to be worth my time or my energy, but it happens like reflex. Before you this writes of a bloody fool who has tried so hard to avoid torment but in vain. I hate to be like this.

You only wish you knew what it is I’m referring to – I will not suffer to tell you that it is the one thing that no one would even dream of suspecting, not even in the least bit. Have your guesses, have your fun, but my lips remained sealed while my mind wanders on the brink of insanity.