a bitter pill to swallow?

Looks like I was dreading my results for a good reason - it's definitely the 'worst' I've gotten so far. Worst for the student who's been more than 'a little better' than the average. I admit, I would like to be the genius of the pack, but let's face the truth, shall we?

It's not like I was very high up to begin with but to fall even from there makes me think I failed alot of people. Not just me. Especially to the people who thought that I was even worth an ounce of their time, especially my parents. I even thought, "now I'm just like any and every one of you out there". Hah, big words for such a little being.

Looking back, I think my 4th term was the turning point; it started to go downhill from there.. This is reminding me of my Form 2 first-term result and onward (probably including the midterms).. 6th-9th-12th-18th-20th. Then back up 16th, and 12th again.

Anyway, back to the main topic. I deserved the bragging rights when I worked for it, now its just 'someone' 'somewhere out there' telling me that if I want to retain it I better bloody work for it.

As they say, youth is wasted on the young. After all, the young are foolish. Just that now happens to be my time. I was asking for it you know, not working hard, and I really really mean not working hard AT ALL. I know it but I still did it anyway, maybe I thought I was going to get away with it like I 'always' did. A hard lesson for me to learn - I may have gotten away with it more than once but sometime it'll come back to nip me in the arse.
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I'm done with this, time to move on. Literally, my final chance in redeeming myself.