The boy who keeps my heart.

mushy post alert

Even though we didn't have alot of memories to remember us by, it was somehow enough to carry me past some of the harder, lonelier times. If I close my eyes and think about it, everything we said, everything we did, it would play back in my mind's eye, just as good as watching the best movie of my life.

Sometimes I would wonder, "What would it be like if we..?" or "What would you think, what would you say, what would you do if.." or even "You should have been here, you would have loved it because.."

I had my doubts - how long could we hold out? We don't do alot of things conventional people do when they miss each other. We don't call often. And when we do there's always a long-ish awkward moment of silence. We don't go mushy on each other. We don't say alot of things we want each other to say. We don't send letters to each other. We don't send care packages or whatever it is that comes in the boxes that makes our eyes go all sparkly.

However, giving the thought of us up wasn't really an option. I can't bring myself to do it, all that was not a good reason enough to let go. For me, it's enough just to be able to talk to you every day. Even if its just bytes and bytes of ascii characters being sent from one dumb terminal to another. Even if these bytes don't attach feelings to them for us to see, the emotion is still there, faintly, but enough.

You're still the one that I miss the most.