black sheep

I'm probably the black sheep of the herd of S9 girls. baaaa.

Look at them; faithful to homework, top scores, mainstream-compatible...I just need to think of a few more if I'd allow myself.

siiiigh.

I don't regret it, but people always say that the grass is greener on the other side. I'm pretty sure everyone has felt it at least once. What would it be like? Would I be better off than I am now?

So much for the road not taken.

Maybe, in the end, it's just my prejudiced mind against those that aren't. Sure makes me sound bad now doesn't it? Maybe that's what I am. Maybe. maybe.

And then again there are those that accept me for the image I portray to them. Ever since entering college, I confess that I've never been 'myself' in front of them. It ain't easy living out this alter ego. We've bonded, sure, I don't deprive myself of it, but the other side of me remains dormant, somewhat. It keeps screaming at me to be freed. "Let me out! Why do you entrap me? I have every right as you do to be there and do what you do now!"

Laughs I laugh may be tears. What I say may be different from the things I do. The defiance I show may be my deepest desires. This mask I show to you may be painted with the joys, and behind it lie streaks of bitter anguish.

Enough of this! I refuse to succumb! Leave me be, Depression, for you have worked yourself well.