afraid

It's Sunday night.

I feel like I'm afraid of facing uni life. It's not like its a new beginning, but it's definitely going to be a different environment from when I left it.
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Home feels more estranged than ever - sometimes I feel like I belong somewhere else. But I know this cannot be true. If my home doesn't feel like home, I have nowhere else to go. I can't think of a time passed and wish like mad I could return, things would change again and I would really find myself stuck in a rut.

As the days pass, day in day out the sounds throughout don't differ much; I keep hearing curt words, orders, instructions, a cross tone, an 'I'm-too-smart-for-you' tone, the resigned tone, the easygoing-whatever tone and then the subservient tone.

We look so dysfunctional, but we keep together somehow.

Sometimes I'm envious of how I've heard stories of people having a happy life straight out of the picture-books, but I know better than to be jealous; there are plenty of others out there who've got it worse than I do.
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You

Grow up - don't cry. You are not going to .. nevermind, I don't want to tell you that noone is going to pity you, cause when someone does I sound like a moron. Nobody is going to catch you at it. Well, nobody should. You can't possibly go on like this - you are going to snap out of it and get a grip. It's going to be close to a month already. You have a looooooooong way to go - don't you dare keep up this shit cause it's gonna cost you. I mean, you have other things to expend your energy on.

Me

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Me

Let me wallow in my pit of hopelessness for abit. I'll climb out when I feel like it. You know the drill.

You
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