to paint a picture. two, in fact.

Talking to yourself is a good thing really. Whether you do it aloud or role-play in your mind, it helps. Like you sort of understand yourself a little bit more. Like I am two seperate beings - I can choose what I want to be. Sometimes that hand is forced but still you make your own choices on how you want things to go. It's always for the better. Whether it actually is, who cares. With what you know right now, you know what you must do.
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There she is, the happier one. Undoubtedly, she speaks with passion for life and has a quest to travel paths less followed where she can. Still sticking to the straight and narrow path, she looks around and absorbs everything in awe. Learn, learn, learn, even out of the classroom. Everything around her is to appreciate, to love, to find some meaning in which it can inspire her. She is that who enjoys company immensely, can't seem to shut up and will do well in social circles if she so wishes it. However she's not all sunshine and madness all around, she does have her wits about her.
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And where did the other one go? The more pensive one, with thoughts which surpass boundaries of her small, small mind - but more repressed, vulnerable and angry. Constantly frustrated at her current self for all her shortcomings for which she knows better than anyone else, and overestimates them most of the time to keep herself 'in check'. Otherwise she's always fighting back tears over things that she claims is her fault although it may not necessarily be so. Her main fault is that she is just too critical and unforgiving. But she seems to enjoy this facet since it swallows her whole and makes her what she is.
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I suppose if Olympus had Zeus & Hades, this would be mine. Their molds still coarse and unrefined - there is much to be worked on, but hold a somewhat definitive shape.

One has a lovely sunset glow, a mix of orange, red and yellow. Ah, the joy of simplicity.

And the other will have a glow of dusk, hues of violet, gray, a tinge of blue, shades of black, slightly brown and what about some droplets of darker purple. So many things intertwined that it is indeed a work of confused art.
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Rarely do they come together since they hold different authorities in different parts of the lay of the land.