depressionism & fighting it with happier thoughts

There will always be one day in my life in a certain period where I feel like giving up. The mountain's just too damn high to climb, it's depressing you know, since you have no choice but to get through it no matter how battered and bruised you may feel in the end. I don't wanna get battered or bruised >_< but what choice do I have?

I don't like being plagued by this feeling of hopelessness. It makes my world that very bit smaller, and I may be that bit claustrophobic. And so I must march forth into the darkness and most of all I must make it out alive. Steel myself against everything that I fear and I will be guarded by my faith.

@____@ I must be going crazy.

I guess this must be due to the 3 assignments (programming, netdata comms & database) all due in 2-3 weeks time. Furthermore the crucial week where I'm supposed to be able to finish all this is that one week where I go off to Sydney to my brother's coronation, no, scrap that - graduation. What the hell am I thinking, a coronation is entirely different from a graduation @_____@ Can't wait to go though, I wanna see choryeow and huanmiao and ss and maybe even sherlyn if I can get to her~ most of all, I wanna see my cousins whom I haven't seen in...6 years, which was my very first trip there. Oh how I wish I didn't have the assignments to deal with.

Juice's been bugging me about Strawberry Sex. I don't think he's one for high-pitched gayish voices on an upbeat song, but still....

I've been listening to utabaka nonstop since I unwrapped it! My original perception of ken hirai wasn't very good since I had the inclination to think high-pitched guys sound gay and maybe are gay and I don't really dig gay. So as you may infer, I wasn't that into it. But on listening to this, I found it pleasant to listen to, and I sincerely hope he's not gay but if he is, "Oh well..", you know what I mean? Anyway whether his songs are good or not does not depend on whether he is gay or not. Some Japanese singers sound gay and are disgusting, but his isn't. Soulful would be the right word. He's the Japanese legend of R&B (well of the 20th century, in my opinion) and he doesn't have to be nude to be sexy (unlike Gackt or Hyde ojichan bwahahahah) I like his more R&B-club stuff like Style, why, even if, Ring, Miracles, Missin you ~it will break my heart~ oh, I don't remember all, but I'm sure there were alot of others.. his older stuff kind of reminds me of watching Detective Conan in the early days of its existence. But still, it's nice to listen to. His acapella (the only one I can think of is 'kimi wa tomodachi') is really really really X3 good. I absolutely love it.

Wicked, true to form, is really a wicked read. I could see how tragic Fabala was going to be, and I admired her for her way of thinking. She was really the atheist (if religions ever existed in the land of Oz yea well she detested all of it) but she had a mind of her own, and she questioned everything, she looked at everything from every point of view, and that in turn constituted her own. I liked the way her mind works.

Nevermind that there were the sex scenes which kinda showed how horny her mom was, but it was quite a thing to imagine sex in what was supposed to be a children's story, my hats off to that. Still, of all things, I never expected Fiyero to be the one romantically inclined with Fabala, I was half expecting Boq to. Surprise, surprise. I suppose it added abit of night in the dreary day, not to mention some reality in a fantasy land. Their daytime I guess I could simply say was a kind of hot mellow afternoon where the wind stood still, in the middle of a heat wave.

Sometimes the way Emerald City was described could be like France in the Revolution age, or Crage Hall could be like what Hogwarts was to Harry Potter, which I found quite easy to imagine and pleasantly fitting. Fabala (I prefer it to Elphie or Elphaba, just sounds nice, don't you think?) was the radical among the rather droll conventional people which really added colour (okay, sorry for the pun, I know Fabala's green and all that) to the scene.

You think the Wizard was a nice guy? Wow, from the way it's told here, he's officially evil, conniving and sly! I'm so amazed. And Dorothy was a lass who chanced upon Fabala in her darkest hour when she lost almost everything dear to her, thus in the end I suppose it was a release of sorts. I can't say her soul ascended, she would hate me for it, for she never believed in having one.

I hated how predictably abandoned she was, but I couldn't think of a better way to put it. After all, when your father's a religious unionist and your mother a noble whisked away into poverty, being green and not very pleasing to the eye is not a good way to start your life, so I can't really blame the author for playing out her life that way.

Wicked = wicked.