사랑
When I was very much younger (I'm not that old, thanks but no thanks. >_>) I used to think all love stories ended with a happy ending. As I grew up, I learned that this wasn't the case. Over and over again, it disappointed me to think that something people vie for so much can prove to be such a disappointing thing. Not that I've ever experienced it, of course, but seeing people love and lose over and over kind of makes me wonder if it's even worth all the trouble you're getting yourself into for something so temporary.
Which brings me to wonder whether I'm actually interested in love itself, or the person I supposedly fall in love with. Sometimes I think it doesn't matter who it is I'm with, but obviously this ain't true since no girl would want to be with a total ass. I mean, falling in love is one thing, but getting a fire started isn't the same as trying to spark something. If you're trying to light wood which is wet you might as well try to drown yourself in a desert.
What the hell is love anyway? Is it when you think of someone day in day out? Is it when your heart beats faster when you just see them walk past? Is it when you really get overimaginative when they just sit in front of you doing the most ordinary thing in the world? I guess everyone loves love so much because they don't know what exactly it is; they have the time of their lives while they're in it, and suffer like anything once they're out of it.
It's probably why I don't want to get myself involved, too many things to lose on a game of chance. For people who like a sure thing (or are just sore losers like me =P), this ain't your game to play unless you have something you know everyone wants and you know you can take your own time picking out the cream of the crop.
So I guess if I ever liked someone very much, I would probably drop the idea after a week or so because in the middle of daydreaming, my realist self will knock me back into place by saying, "Don't bother wasting your time. Return to reality alright? You get more kicks there than you ever will dreaming."
多分私は愛を恐れている。
If you *must* know, I have no one in mind, and that I do not lie. Not here anyway.
