haih

I've been out of the dumps for the last 2 days thanks to this. It really crushed me. I could say it took me by surprise although I should have known better that I'm not gonna get very far being this slacky and careless.

Of course I feel jealous and incompetent when my peers do well (and I really mean do miles better!) and I don't. Probably cause I've grown accustomed to the fact that I'm supposed to be good at what I do. I think I take it for granted. Now's the time to redeem myself. Not only for the sake of my bruised ego (yes contrary to what people think girls have ego too) but for myself, I can't afford to do badly! And also because if I were in Gipps it would be Manzur teaching this subject and I rather liked him as a lecturer, he was good at what he did. He probably won't remember me much I guess, but I respect him and I wouldn't do any justice to him by screwing up this badly for the next assignment. moero! Anything to drown out the crushing defeat that comes with a horrible mark like 58/100. I am not satisfied!

So. Yes. For what its worth, I am going to do better! Not just for this subject, for EVERYTHING else! I have to get my sights straight!

I'm kinda afraid cause I haven't gotten back my Data Mining marks. Oh please let it be decent, please please. I'm done with having such crappy marks (22.5/30, and 5 marks for SHEER CARELESSNESS THAT SHOULDN'T EVEN BE THERE! and of course the ultimate of having 58/100 for Operating Environments) I need to buck up! mou nido to wa iranainda! kore ga saigo da!

listening to: hinouchi emi - ai dake ga