*poof*

I can't believe it.

My first interview I suppose was ok, had a little adventure trying to find the place and all but I did find it eventually. My interviewers were nice people, and I hope I had made a good impression.
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When I came home, I thought that she'd be happy that I'm trying to venture out on my own, securing my own future with my own effort.

All she did was give me the impression that I was a fool and should have only gone for the big companies as those small companies were useless to me as I would not learn anything there. She admitted to advising us not to be picky about getting jobs but I should have pursued only the big fishes in the field of work I would end up in. "Don't waste your time, people can stay in those companies for 6 months or more and STILL not end up learning anything in those roles...Trust me, just go for the big companies, you're sure to learn alot more there. Don't waste your time and your effort."

I'll say this now - Her words, coming from an industry veteran, will have held alot of truths behind the statement. Still, its because of people who think LIKE her that holds blame in retardation of SMEs and local firms. Just because they're small, they're useless.

I feel so dejected. Like I have been elated for utterly nothing. And I feel pissed at her and myself. Her because she just put down every single effort that I have ever made towards this end, and myself because I didn't make a stand for I know she's right. Either she's right or she's going to go into self-pity mode.

*takes a deep breath*
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Since I don't want to *spite* her or any shit of the sort that she can think of when anyone doesn't listen to her, I have taken her advice. I bow to her like a slave before his master. Silent, cowering, angry and scared.
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I just hope she's right cause I think it will absolutely suck to be a bum.

Sometimes I wish she'd be less arrogant with her annoucement of her decision, regardless it being for me or for anyone else. The tone she takes makes us all feel like peons and makes us all look so useless, and it creates the impression that she's the only one worth her two cents' thoughts.

I hate it.