children grow.

Children are such simple beings. They care not for differences; they pay more attention to similarities when they get to know each other in a playground. They don’t ask much. When a new kid plays in the playground, first unsaid but understood statement is “Let’s play!” rather than “Who are you?” They don’t try to hide emotion, wants or needs. When they want something, they get to the point. When they’re happy, they smile and laugh. When they’re sad, they cry their hearts out. They don’t need a reason to love, they just do. They don’t attach reasons or try to explain why they’re happy. To them, it feels good, and that’s the only thing that matters. An emotion that universally contributes to their feeling content, which is at that point the most important thing. Fear, is something that they can be protected from; they don’t have to face it now.

But as they grow up, they get plagued with so many things to consider before taking any action. Wins and losses which come in more ways than one start to affect their lives. Differences now count. “I’m the only person without it.” In encountering other people, face judgements of others towards them count; endless questions – “What are you REALLY like?” “What are you doing this for? What’s the catch?” surface, making them more wary with every step they have to take. Now getting to the point isn’t so easy any more. “What if…?” “Must remember that he/she doesn’t like me talking about this…” Emotions are dangerous to let show, they reveal their vulnerability. They cannot afford to be hurt since the world will keep spinning regardless of what happens to them, and no on can truly help them but themselves. Others can serve as a guide, no more and no less. The path they choose is theirs alone to decide, theirs alone to make the choice. The fear is now constant; they cannot be forever shielded from it. The unknown, they must avoid experiencing it at all costs. The question ‘why’ now forces them to find a reason as a backing for a thought or feeling otherwise instinctively familiar to them nothing more than empty wisps of air in the cold night sky. Love is now something they long for in a different form, as a sanctuary for them to help find solace and comfort in another. They know not how it came to be that they needed each other, something had to stir in them to make it a part of their want or need; it was never there before. What they know little of it was of the hurt that they had to go through if it ever shattered to pieces.

listening to: angela aki -奇跡 (きせき; kiseki; miracle)

奇跡を待っている。いつか、いつか幸せにきてくれるんだ？