crash paused blank stuck

I'm back from my piano exam. How'd it go?

aaahh >_< I only wish I didn't feel so nervous as I did. It was my downfall, my Achilles heel (I nearly put 'knee' instead, I don't know why) and the one and only factor that made me screw up all that I'd been working for throughout this year and the last.

Throughout the morning I was practicing for the final showdown; kind of like a full dress rehearsal before a kindergarten concert or any type of performance. (Okay, so what if I was in my shirt and shorts >_>)

Starting check ....

Scales: OK! ....
Thirds: OK! ....
Sixths: OK! ....
Chromatics: OK! ....
Arpeggios: OK! ....
Dominant 7ths: OK! ....
Diminished 7ths: OK! ....
1st Piece: OK-ish! ....
2nd Piece: OK-ish! ....
3rd Piece: OK! ....

Check finished.

Then went down to SIN to wreak (internal) havoc. And back for another practice session. I thought I had it in my grasp; a pass at the very least.

Set out to the battlefield @ 2pm. Most of the time when I take my piano exams, usually I'd have either mom or dad there. But hey, come on, how old am I, still needing a chaperone? (I think.) Still, this time it was different. Lonely, even. But nervousness took over soon enough on actually reaching the 10th floor. After confirming my attendance, I was ushered to the waiting room (which is pretty small, I think the rooms on the west wings are slightly smaller.) to (duh) wait for my turn. And I nearly got poked by a protruding nail (which I presume is used for distancing the bed from the wall.) while I was leaning on the wall. It's not exactly soundproof, so you can hear the other rooms with the constant tinkle of keys either in scalic motion, arpeggios, or the pieces being played. Apart from me, there were about 3 or 4 other parents waiting for their kids (most are siblings of which both are taking, the senior being the higher grade as is usual in most cases) while chattering about what to do after the exam, calming them down, or just talking about what they are going to/had already faced. I smiled to myself, thinking that I was not very different from them when either brother was taking exams with me as well.

My allocated timeslot for the exam was actually 3:09PM, but looks like they had some absentees, so I got my turn 10 minutes earlier. I was actually surprised, but decided to go face the music and get on with it.

The examiner is a lady, quite jovial as I suppose she had her fair share of shaky students; I wonder if I was one of the better/worse/worst cases. I definitely couldn't be the best judging from all that crap I was spewing and all the mistakes that blurted themselves out of nowhere. Like I was saying earlier, I attribute most of these to my state of mind at that moment; unstable.

My scales were actually quite okay. The word had been going round that she likes to give lots of staccatos, Eflat minor and F minor scales. Which yes, they were requested for. I was so glad I did reasonably well for that. No obvious blunders to report.

My pieces.

*lightning+thunder+raincloud+super heavy rain on house ala hareguu*

Goddamn it, all those mistakes I made during the exam I have NEVER, I tell you, NEVER ever made in my entire duration of practicing. What the hell was wrong with me?

First piece:
What the hell, I can get stuck while doing the running notes?! What the OMGFWTFBBQ?! It's supposed to be virtually impossible to make a mistake there, of all frigging places to make a mistake. I could even manage getting stuck at the easiest arpeggio of the entire piece, which (to me) is somewhere near the end of the first section. I'm just happy I didn't get stuck in the beginning.

Second piece:
What the hell again, I got stuck playing some other notes where I'm not supposed to be making any mistake~!!! My second section, slight errors here and there, but not too obvious. And just when I'm supposed to enter the 3rd section, I got frigging stuck. AAAAAA That's another of the *easy* parts I'm not supposed to go wrong!!!!! Whywhywhywhywhywhy, oh wait, I've reasoned it out already.

Third piece:
I am SOOO SOOO SOOOO THANKFUL this one turned out heavenly compared to the other 2. This also happens to be the one I worked hardest on cause my middle section sucks. or it sucked. *tears of joy* I'm so glad this one turned out right despite everything I've been doing wrong and all that frustration vented on me from teacher pat.

Sight reading:
I obviously was too engrossed in getting the notes right rather than looking at the dynamics. Shit. But I think I got about half of it right, and screwed the dynamics entirely. Blah. I really expected nothing exceptional of my sight reading anyway.

Oral:
Whoa, crap spewing time! Sang out of key, and sang the wrong notes out of timing too. Named the obviously wrong bunch of cadences and even took a shot in the dark about the modulations. I had to ask her, "Er, cadences are those where you identify the last 4 chords is it?" and the most frequently asked question, "Could you repeat the question?" not because I couldn't understand what she was saying, but to stalling time. T_____T Talk about desperate. I think the only section I could answer with some sort of confidence was the final, final part, which was the 'commenting on the piece' part. Well it required some prompting from her since I ran out of things to say pretty quickly, but I think I got most of the questions adequately covered. And hahaha yea I got shot by her on this; She was asking whether I noticed any particular rhythm in the left hand. At first I said "Not in particular." Then when she played it out, it actually had a waltz feel to it, to which I answered. Then she shot back, "I thought you were saying you didn't notice it?" So we both had a laugh, probably her out of amusement and me out of embarassment. But still, took it in stride. ^_^ Well I suppose she observed most of us had a rough time so she helped us out (a little and not so obviously, if I must add)

now playing: Tommy heavenly6 - Pray

how fitting.