Endless

I am afraid to step into the Endless.

But I know, my time will come. I don't feel ready for it! I tremble inwardly as I stare what others have had to endure before me. It scares me; I know not how they managed to endure what they did. It only prompted me to draw blanks at first.

After I regained my composure and took a second look, I breathed slightly easier.

Comparing what I've already accomplished, I try to take what little comfort I could in knowing that I will be able to cross this hurdle.

I have been working hard, but started a little too late. I CAN still make it, I know, but is it enough? I can't help but doubt myself.

The week before, I had the cheek to take it lightly; what I tried to accomplish, I have no idea if it actually turned out the way I wanted it to. I told myself it didn't since I couldn't fathom the answers when I asked myself. It scared me enough to try harder this week. For the past 3 days I have tried. It is trying my patience, my will, my stamina - they grow weaker by the day, but not gone altogether.

I did not allow it; I really have no choice but to do so. Brute force to a sense. For someone like me who doesn't like to do that to anyone, I pleaded for a less harsh sentence; I didn't think I could take anymore. Like I said, I wouldn't allow it. And I prided myself in that. It makes me happy that I can tell myself to keep going, and actually live up to my word.

My first time enduring the Endless alone, with no comrades-at-arms. Surely I have the right to be afraid. Fear of disappointing, fear of disappointment, fear of a blank mind.

But I cannot be defeated now! I have yet to venture to the Endless. I have to be brave.

I have to.
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And to those who will venture into the Endless themselves in a few hours' time, godspeed. Be not a coward - don't let it take away all that you have worked for, all that you have stayed up nights for, all that you have sacrificed your peace of mind for. Everything, everything you fight for you will surely achieve. And after you have emerged from the Endless, shed not a tear for the illusion of a seemingly bleak future it has created. Have faith. Even if you think you have none left, I will always try to help you regain some of yours by giving you some of mine even if it means exhausting all of it at my own expense, since I have faith myself that someone will go to such ends for me.