new year's eve

I understand now what it's like to miss my close friends; I used to dismiss it cause it looked far away. Naive, I know.

ai-chan's got the ASEAN scholarship, and now she's in Singapore, awaiting a new life ahead of her. I feel happy for her, sure, it's a vast change and a bright future ahead of her. And I'm here, and I know I am still very unwilling to let her go, wishing very much that she's still here so that I can relentlessly dish out sarcastic remarks and awe at her really great cg and sketches, and get belanja-ed ^_^ She's coming back for chinese new year's, of which I *should* have gotten her 地球美紗樹 already. Or not. (Last time I ordered a book from kinokuniya I only got it 2 months later). To my bestest friend I wish you a bright path ahead, and to stop and think when you come across a fork, but never ever doubt yourself and your decisions that you make. And that I'll always be here for you.

When I think of ai-chan, reeis comes into the picture. You're great to talk to, since you're so loaded with crap XD There's never been a dark moment with you around. But damn you've got this really knack for dark stuff, and thanks to you I love the Sandman series. Not enough to get the entire set myself since I'll borrow it from you anyway *nyahaha*~ *sigh* reeis~ when ARE you going to come over to my place? To you as well I wish you all the best with the forthcoming year, hoping that you'll live through college.. Play hard and work hard! XD

My childhood friend jyan: You've been around since primary school. Back then you were fun-loving, but hardworking. More hardworking than me anyway. Then high school came and went; You were *still* fun-loving and hardworking. Now SPM's passed. The tennis-player who's still hardworking and fun-loving has been a great friend to me, and I could probably never thank you enough for all the homework and notes I've copied off you XD Not to mention the last-minute note-reviewing before sitting for exams. To you I pray you'll be forevermore loved by everyone who crosses your path ^_^

well, jihui's been gone for almost half a year, and its great fun talking to him~ He's probably one of the closer guy friends I have, since I've known to kacau him with stupid things at wrong times. And yeah, I hate Times Square as well. ^_^ Sorry about that, I didn't know it'd be so boring. Not to mention my bouts of sarcasm were lashed at him as well; I've not known myself to *not* talk sarcastically to people.. Habits sure die hard, especially those that make up huge parts of your personality. Well, I hope you get back here next summer with chocolate! And I would like to thank you for everything you've done for me (which also includes all that anime you've lent me and I enjoyed very much. Don't worry, I'm sure to lend you School Rumble. And a few other titles like gankutsuou and sunabouzu. XD) I just wish you'd get back here soon. And that you'll do well in whatever you do.

So onward with the outburst of thought, before the next year beckons me to it:

Mom.

You make your word absolute; You make it impossible to refute; You force yourself unto others; You're a great cook; You like all the pretty things. Let me go. Let me go. I need to find my own grasp in the dark without your guiding hand so that I can learn; people learn from mistakes, and I am but ordinary. Avoiding them only means I won't learn anything. It is IMPOSSIBLE to avoid danger, it will come some way or another despite your careful guard. So let me go.

On the other hand, despite everything, I still love you as a child would their parents. So don't worry yourself too much. I'll try, try to *not* get you angry where I can. I cannot give my word for the guys. They have to make that resolution themselves.

Eat more bananas ok XD And buy more oranges. I loove the ones you buy~ And we're always running out of 'em cause korg tends to wake up in the middle of the night and sneak some into his room.

And dad.

You're probably the more patient. Or maybe you just don't express yourself right. I don't know. XP I guess I enjoy being around you cause you're...nice~ I can probably crack more sarcastic jokes to you than I can to mom. I wouldn't wanna tread on anyone's toes, especially hers. If I'm afraid of one thing, it's gotta be getting scolded from either of you. My guilty conscience overrides everything else when I know I'm wrong and I'm found out. So I guess that's why I really can't tell a lie. You're the more open, the one more willing to listen without giving a killer glare, UNLESS you're very very angry, which is rare..

smile! you can see the expression in the word itself. So my hopes for both of you, mom and dad, is to smile more! That upward curve has a magical effect. At the very least it means alot to me, if not everyone else around you.

To myself, I stop and take a look at my life now. To a new year in barely hours, starting anew another year for me to craft, shape and mould it to be what it'll be. I can't tell. That's why I love the unpredictable, it gives me this tingling sense of fear and excitement.